90+ NSFW Dirty Pick Up Lines That Actually Cross The Line

best-dirty-pick-up-lines

What’s cringey, funny and tries to be an aphrodisiac without being an aphrodisiac? A dirty pick-up line, anyone? Welcome to art school, because we’re about to teach you how to become the ultimate pick-up artist. Okay, kidding. These inappropriate and hilarious pick up lines are so bad, they’re good. But that’s just why we love ’em! And you’re not alone in your search for these. According to the latest search data available to us, dirty pick up lines are searched for 201,000 a month. A month!

Warning, this list is most definitely full of NSFW jokes. And they’re not exactly stranger-friendly. No, seriously, do not try and use these to bag an actual date. To be quite honest, if a random person came up to us and blurted any of these bad boys unexpectedly, it would be us delivering the punchline…directly to their face. Luckily, with millions of people stuck at home amid the coronavirus outbreak, quarantine dating means you can try out these eye-roll inducing lines without getting punched through FaceTime. Even still, it’s funny as hell to round off some dirty pick up lines, especially to your significant other. Check out some of our favorites below. Why not have a pick-up contest with your partner to see who laughs first? Try and send them as a flirty text, but only if you know the person well.

 

  • 1. You’re so hot, my zipper is falling for you.
  • 2. They say that kissing is a language of love, so would you mind starting a conversation with me?
  • 3. I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
  • 4. Hey! My name is Microsoft. Can I crash at your place tonight?
  • 5. Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.
  • 6. Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional?
  • 7. I’m not into watching sunsets, but I’d love to see you go down.
  • 8. Are you an exam? Because I have been studying you like crazy.
  • 9. Can you tell me what time you’ll unzip your pants, please?
  • 10. Give me your car keys so I can drive you crazy.
  • 11. Is your name Earl Grey? Because you look like a hot-tea!
  • 12. I love my bed but I’d rather be in yours.
  • 13. Are you a haunted house? I’m going to scream when I’m in you.
  • 14. Your body is made up of 70% water. . .and I’m thirsty.
  • 15. Are you undressing me with your eyes?!
  • 16. Your outfit would look great on my bedroom floor.
  • 17. Is it hot in here? Or is it just you?

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  • 18. I lost my keys… Can I check your pants?
  • 19. Did you know my lips are like Skittles and you’re about to taste the rainbow?
  • 20. Do I have to sign for your package?
  • 21. I know a great way to burn off the calories in that drink.
  • 22. Please don’t let this get to your head, but do you want some?
  • 23. Are you an elevator? Because I’ll go up and down on you.
  • 24. You look great right now. Do you know what else would look great on you? Me!
  • 25. With school, I just want an A. With you, I just want to F.
  • 26. Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
  • 27. Roses are red. Violets are fine. You be the 6. I’ll be the 9.
  • 28. Do you drink soda? Because you look so-da-licious.
  • 29. Do you have a shovel? Because I’m digging you.
  • 30. What did you say your name was? I want to make sure I’m screaming the right name tonight.
  • 31. That’s a nice shirt. Can I try it on after we have sex?
  • 32. I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
  • 33. Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.
  • 34. Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more.
  • 35. If you’re feeling down, I can feel you up.
  • 36. What is a nice person like you doing in a dirty mind like mine?
  • 37. We were both born without clothes.
  • 38. I’m peanut butter, you’re jelly, let’s have sex.
  • 39. I’m not feeling myself today. Can I feel you instead?
  • 40. I don’t think I want babies, but I wouldn’t mind refining my baby making technique with you.
  • 41. You know what winks and then screws like a tiger? {Wink}
  • 42. My doctor told me I have a Vitamin D deficiency. Want to go back to my place and save me?
  • 43. Are you my homework? Cause I’m not doing you but I definitely should be.
  • 44. Are you a drill sergeant? Because you have my privates standing at attention.
  • 45. Can you do telekinesis? Because you’ve made a part of me move without even touching it.
  • 46. Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty.
  • 47. If you were a flower you’d be a damn-delion.
  • 48. Let’s play Titanic. You’ll be the iceberg and I’ll go down.
  • 49. Dinner first, or can we go straight for dessert?
  • 50. I was feeling very off today, but then you turned me on.
  • 51. Does your name start with “C” because I can C us getting down.
  • 52. I’m having trouble sleeping by myself, can you sleep with me?
  • 53. This might seem corny but you’re making me horny.
  • 54. Want to save water by showering together?
  • 55. I’m an adventurer and I want to explore you.
  • 56. Want to go halves on a baby?
  • 57. Do you have any room for an extra tongue in your mouth?
  • 58. Are you a supermarket sample? Because I want to taste you again and again without any sense of shame.
  • 59. Are you a sea lion? Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight.
  • 60. Are you Dracula? You looked a little thirsty when you were looking at me.
  • 61. Don’t ever change. Just get naked.
  • 62. I’m just like a pore strip. Hard to get off, but extremely satisfied once you do.
  • 63. You are so selfish. You’re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.
  • 64. If your upper lip is Christmas and your lower lip is Thanksgiving, can I come visit any time in between?
  • 65. You dropped something. My jaw.
  • 66. If I was the judge, I’d sentence you to my bed.
  • 67. Is that a candy cane in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?
  • 68. You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you.
  • 69. Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!
  • 70. My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.
  • 71. Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
  • 72. Let us let only latex stand between our love.
  • 73. Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?
  • 74. Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.
  • 75. Nice dress. Can I talk you out of it?
  • 76. Can I borrow your lips?
  • 77. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I’m coming home with you.
  • 78. There must be a light switch on my forehead because every time I see you, you turn me on!
  • 79. So long as we’re in the theatre….why don’t we get some play?
  • 80. Do you want to save water and shower together?
  • 81. That shirt looks great on you… as a matter of fact, so would I.
  • 82. We could be the reason Santa has a naughty list this year.
  • 83. Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
  • 84. I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.
  • 85. Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s out of business.
  • 86. Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.
  • 87. Want to play conductor? You be the engineer and I’ll go choo choo.
  • 88. If you look that good in clothes, you must look even better out of them.
  • 89. Baby, you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.
  • 90. Someone should call the police, because you just stole my heart!
  • 91. Did you get those pants for 50% off? They’re 100% off at my place.
  • 92. Did you take your Vitamin D today? Want to?
  • 93. Are you a raisin? Cause you’re raising my hopes for a kiss right about now.

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