Funny Quotes For Her – Best Funny Quotes For Her

Funny Quotes are irresectable and are always the best way to win a way into someone’s hear because they must must laugh or smile when they’ve Gone through them. Winning a ladies heart is more easy when you are a funny guy to be with because ladies love it when you are funny and easy going with them and all they do.

Here in this Blog post is all About funny Quotes you can send to her that will keep a big smile on her face even when you’re gone. Some Important Subheading we will be writing on Are Love Funny Quotes, funny quotes about movies, humorous quotes, Funny Quotes For Her, funny quotes for motivation, and Other sets of Very Funny paragraphs you can’t find else where on the internet.

Best Funny Love Quotes For Her

My wife is really sentimental. One Valentine’s Day I gave her a ring and to this day she has never forgotten those three little words that were engraved inside — Made in Taiwan. – Leopold Fetchner

When I say I love you more, I don’t mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us, I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than the distance between us, I love you more than any obstacle that could try and come between us. I love you the most.” – Anonymous

For a long and happy marriage a man should always remember to say these three things; I’m sorry, It was all my fault, It will never happen again.” – Manny Wolf

“I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you, not only for what you have made of yourself but for what you are making of me.” – Roy Croft

A marriage is not a noun; it’s a verb. It isn’t something you get. It’s the way you love your partner everyday.” – Barbara De Angelis

“You are my best friend, my human diary and my other half. You mean the world to me and I LOVE YOU.” – Anonymous

“The great secret of successful marriage is to treat all disasters as incidents and none of the incidents as disasters.” – Sir Harold George Nicolson

“Always remember the distinction between contribution and commitment. Take the matter of bacon and eggs. The chicken makes a contribution. The pig makes a commitment.” – John Mack Carter

“Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” – Mark Twain

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“The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.” – Audrey Hepburn

Sometimes the heart sees what is invisible to the eye.” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

“What I love most about my home is who I share it with.” – Tad Carpenter

“A man without a wife is like a vase without flowers.” – African Proverb

“To the world you may be one person, but to one person you are the world.” – Bill Wilson

Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone’s feelings. – David Sedaris

Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything else. – Jean Kerr

Funny Love Paragraphs

According to Newton’s Law of love, love can neither be created nor destroyed. However, it can create a girlfriend who can destroy wallets.

I want to be the reason when you look down on your phone, you’ll have this goofy smile in your face and jump up and down like a silly little girl, and then fall down a manhole.

Grow old with me. Let’s count each other’s wrinkles as the years pass by. Let’s see who losses all of the teeth and who will need the help of the walking stick first.

It is important to see the real character of the person you will marry first before sealing the deal. How? Give him a slow internet service. They say that lag brings out the real you.

Being married has many wonderful perks. You have that one person to annoy for the rest of your life. Someone you can comfortably release your farts and burps it without shame. And most of all, you have someone who accepts you in spite of your smelly feet or your bad habits.

Make you sure you tell your partner how much you love him every day for you’ll never know when you’ll find somebody better.

My head and my heart will never cease their endless war. When my head says ‘I don’t care, my heart says ‘I do care’. When my head says ‘I’m not thinking about her, my heart says ‘of course you do.’

Don’t feel bad if you see your ex with someone else. Remember, our parents taught us to give the things we don’t need to the less fortunate.

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I want to be the reason when you look down on your phone, you’ll have this goofy smile in your face and jump up and down like a silly little girl, and then fall down a manhole.

Marriage does not only require you to deal with expenses and the toilet seat, you also have to deal with feelings and the last resort, the lawyers.

Heartbreak is one great way to lose a lot of your unwanted weight. You won’t eat for days, pour your energy on making your ex regret for leaving you and thus, spend your time on the gym.

Marriage doubles your electric and grocery bills, the size of your tummy for 9 months and the energy you need to do the house cleaning.

Is it possible to calculate how fast you are falling? Apparently, by the time you’ve tried calculating, you’ve already fallen miserably on the bottom of an endless pit. And still, there will be no answer, my friend.

Sadly, love is part of growing up. It requires you to buy gifts for anniversaries, forgive over and over again, and most of all, deal with someone else’s farts and burps.

You know that you’ve been in a relationship long enough when it takes only 15 minutes for you to get ready and when you consider pizza and beer as your Saturday Date Night.

This is as close as I can get to describing it – a hot pancake with butter melting on top and a steaming cup of coffee as soon as I open my eyes. That’s how wonderful it is to wake up knowing you are mine and I am yours.

Hot and cute guys make your heart skip a beat, cool and charming guys make you go crazy, but funny and witty guys are the ones who will make you fall in love.

You’ll know a person is in love when he can laugh like a fool by himself and keep a goofy smile plastered in his face all day long.

All the voices in my head are replaced with your voice, the faces in every billboard yours and the songs on the radio all about you.

Funny Movies Quotes And Paragraphs

“Just when I think you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do somethin’ like this – and totally redeem yourself! Ha Ha!” Dumb & Dumber

4. “All I’ve got at home is one pony and two dogs and four cats and six bunny rabbits and two parakeets and three canaries and a green parrot and a turtle, and a silly old hamster! I WANT a SQUIRREL!” — Veruca Salt, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

Funny Quotes

“Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the war room!” Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

5. “Are you insane? Of course I want to leave the Dursleys! Have you got a house? When can I move in?” — Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

If The gods can send a bottle from the sky, Why can’t him take it back — The Gods Must Be Crazy

“Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with a seat missing, but it hurts.” Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear

Carrie Bradshaw: “New York Magazine says Brooklyn is the new Manhattan.”
Miranda Hobbes: “Yes, but whoever wrote that lives in Brooklyn.”
Sex and the city

Dave: “You’re living the dream, Mitch. Having children, it’s…it’s like, it’s living with little mini-heroin addicts. You know, they’re laughing one minute and then they’re crying the next. And then they trying to kill themselves in the bathroom for no good reason. They’re very mean and selfish and burn through your money. And they break shit…”

“I’m the Dude. So that’s what you call me. You know, that or, uh, His Dudeness, or uh, Duder, or El Duderino if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.” The Big Lebowski

“I see you’re drinking 1%. Is that ’cause you think you’re fat? ‘Cause you’re not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.” Napoleon Dynamite

“Well, I’ve read through that Handbook For The Recently Deceased. It says: ‘live people ignore the strange and unusual.’ I, myself, am strange and unusual.” — Lydia Deetz, Beetlejuice

“If you wear a dress, and have an animal sidekick, you’re a princess.” — Maui, Moana

funny quotes

Supermodels – ha! Nothing super about them. Spoiled, stupid little stick-figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves. Feh! I used to design for GODS!” — Edna Mode, The Incredibles

“Earth is amazing! There are these things called farms. They put seeds in the ground, pour water on them, and they grow into food, like pizzas!” — The Captain, Wall-E

Liar! Try me again, and I promise you that you and I are gonna have a Middle Passage experience, a fight for survival, and I will win. Have I made myself clear? Clear?” — Iyanla Vanzant, Girls Trip

Funny quotes

“Guys, I’m eating junk and watching rubbish!” — Kevin McCallister, Home Alone

What… How… Oh, look at this! Sons of the pharaohs! Give me frogs! Flies! Locusts! Anything but *you*! Compared to you, the other plagues were a joy!” — Dr. Bey, The Mummy

“I may have trouble remembering my own name, or what country I live in, but there are two things I can’t seem to forget: that my own daughter threw me into a nursing home, and that she ate Minny’s s*it.” — Missus Walters, The Help

“There are only three ages for women in Hollywood: babe, district attorney, and Driving Miss Daisy.” The First Wives Club

Funny Quotes

“Oh for goodness sakes, get down off that crucifix, someone needs the wood!” The Adventures of Priscilla: Queen of the Desert

“The best thing about visiting the President is the food! Now, since it was all free, and I wasn’t hungry but thirsty, I must’ve drank me fifteen Dr. Peppers.” — Forrest Gump, Forrest Gump

“Donkey, You Have The Right To Remain Silent. What You Lack Is The Capacity.” — Sherk, Sherk 2

“My teenage daughter is not afraid of you, why should I be… Drew?” — Dr. James Possible, Kim Possible Movie: So the Drama

“The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.” Crimes and Misdemeanors

Funny Quotes Pictures And Memes For Her

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Funny Quotes And Paragraphs For Motivation

“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.” – Lyndon B. Johnson

Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each others character before marriage, which is never advisable.” – Oscar Wilde

“My most brilliant achievement was my ability to be able to persuade my wife to marry me.” – Winston Churchill

“But I had promised my husband never to accept another engagement. It was not a very happy time for me.” – Dinah Sheridan

I wish there’s a traffic light to tell me when to stop, go and slow down when I took this road of falling in love.

My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor. – Elayne Boosler

Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements. – Kathy Mohnke

Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile. – Franklin P. Jones

I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu. But a care bear, I’d definitely fight a care bear for you.

“I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.” – Michael Scott

“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” – Robert Bloch

“It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by then I was too famous.” – Robert Benchley

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” – Terry Pratchett

“Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” – Dwight D. Eisenhower

“Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” – Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” – Zig Ziglar

“You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” – Sam Levenson

“If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito.” – Betty Reese

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.“ —  Dalai Lama

“I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.“ — Thomas A. Edison

Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.“
Kyle Chandler

“Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in their heads turned up way too loud to hear it.”
Brian Vaszily

“If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly.“
Steve Maraboli

“Edison failed 10,000 times before he made the electric light. Do not be discouraged if you fail a few times.“
Napoleon Hill


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