• Wed. Dec 2nd, 2020
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Looking for a birthday joke or messages, we have them in abundance and we also have some birthday quotes. All our articles are to help your relationship grow stronger and better. “Happy Birthday Funny Jokes (At The Bottom)”has a combination of different birthday ideas. Check out some other article of ours.

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Happy Birthday Funny



1. I always limit my budget on buying birthday gifts according to what that person gave me as a gift on my birthday. Enjoy your gift of nothing!
2. Happy birthday to one of the few people whose birthday I can remember without a Facebook reminder.
3. Forget about the past, you can’t change it. Forget about the future, you can’t predict it. Forget about the present, I didn’t get you one.
4. May your Facebook wall be filled with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years, or genuinely couldn’t care less about.
5. On your birthday don’t forget to set goals that are sky high, and spend the rest of the year miserably trying to build a rocket to get there.
6. You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!
7. Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
8. If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!
9. Smart, good looking, and funny. But enough about me. Happy birthday!
10. It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
11. Right, let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night 😉
12. Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?
13. Congratulations on getting slightly older!
14. Well done – you have still been alive for several years!

 Jokes For Old Age

1. Happy birthday – I’m so glad you’ll always be older than me 
2. Remember that growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional!
3. Birthdays are like spotting Bigfoot. You really do want to see them but you’re a little afraid of what they’ll look like…
4. If you look back through all the years you’ve lived, the first thing you’ll notice is that you need a telescope.
5. Happy birthday – So far, this is the oldest you’ve ever been!
6. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year… if you make it!
7. If anyone calls you old, hit them with your cane and throw your teeth at them!
8. Yes, we have reached that age… when every compliment we get is usually followed by ‘for your age’. You’re still looking great though… for your age!
9. As you get older, three things happen. The first thing is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.
10. Congratulations! You are now old enough to need TWO packs of candles for your cake.
11. We all knew this day was coming. It’s best to just suck it up and accept it’s no longer acceptable for you to eat a happy meal in public.
12. Don’t worry about your age… alcohol will make it all better!
13. I will stop making age jokes on your birthday now… you’ve reached the age where it’s genuinely not funny anymore.
14. Just remember the more candles on the cake, the bigger the cake you’ll get! Now who’s laughing?
15. Another year older and you’re one step closer to getting those Velcro shoes!
16. Remember that age is just a number… just a really, REALLY high one in your case!
17. I regret to inform you that your childhood has EXPIRED.

Birthday Messages In A Mean Way

1. Happy birthday! Let’s celebrate the first time you cried naked in someone else’s bed…
2. I hope you have a happy annual celebration of escaping from your mum’s uterus. I wish that you may never again have to return to your dark underwater prison.
3. Birthdays are like bogeys. The more you have, the harder it is to breathe!
4. I hope your birthday is better than walking through a fart with your mouth open.
5. Since it’s your birthday, I’ll let you leave the lights on.
6. May your day be more beautiful than a unicorn farting rainbows.
7. I hope you celebrate your birthday the way you came into this world, naked and screaming!
8. Some say that age is just a number. I say that’s bullsh**. I mean, you’re getting really old. Happy birthday anyway.
9. Happy birthday… congratulations on now being of the age where understand the horror of waking yourself up with your own fart!
10. You might be old, but you’re still a d***.
11. Older and wiser… but still a bit of a pr***.
12. I didn’t know where to start on your birthday present so I thought I’d trawl the internet. After a couple of hours I found some really good stuff. But then I remembered I was supposed to be finding you a birthday present and it was too late. Sorry!
13. Have a mucking farvellous birthday!
14. Some things are better with age. Too bad you aren’t one of them.

 Birthday Messages That Are Sarcastic

1. You’re the least famous person I know of who was born on your birthday.
2. I couldn’t think of a message that would make you laugh for your birthday card… you’re too boring…
3. I hope your birthday is better than the card I sent you…
4. Seriously, I don’t know how many more of your birthdays I can handle.
5. Another year older… and you still can’t grow a beard.
6. If I made fun of how many years old you are, it would be beyond funny.
7. Getting someone as awesome as me to send a birthday message to you, has undoubtedly been your biggest achievement this year.
8. Congratulations on being a year older and still maintaining such a low level of maturity; you are truly an inspiration.
9. Happy birthday! Here is a piece of card to show you how little I care…
10. What are you so happy about? It’s your birthday and you are going to have to spend a lot of money to keep us happy. At least have fun doing it!
11. Life was meant to be celebrated more often than just one day a year. Man, you’re missing opportunities the other 364 days!
12. I decided to keep having birthdays because it beats the alternative… Death.

Belated Birthday Wishes

1. I know you had lots of birthday wishes yesterday, but who is thinking of you today? Me, that’s who. Happy belated birthday!
2. I’m sorry my birthday wishes are belated—I honestly didn’t think you’d live this long. Happy birthday!
3. Sorry I wasn’t there with you to mourn the loss of your youth. Happy birthday!
4. It’s not your fault, buddy. No one can help the fact that you’re growing old, and that I totally forgot… Happy belated birthday!
5. You’re amazing, wise, super cool, fantastic, brilliant, intelligent – but don’t get too excited. I’m only saying all these things because I’m a couple of days late! Happy birthday!
6. It wasn’t my fault… Facebook forgot to remind me about your birthday!
7. It’s so tough to believe that you are getting older, that I decided to wish you happy birthday late this year.
8. Sorry I missed your birthday… hopefully you’ll have another one next year…

Funny Birthday Quotes

1. Two things that are inevitable for any living person are birthdays and taxes.
2. Birthdays are like cheese. They stink more the older they get.
3. Aging is the worst side effect of birthdays.
4. There’s really only one true birthday. The rest are simply anniversaries of the day of a person’s birth.
5. Birthdays are like vacations. You don’t have one too often and they come and go too quickly.
6. The old pessimist focuses on his growing number. The old optimist focuses on his growing blessings.
7. Getting older is just part of life… and the other parts are even worse.
8. The older you get, the more disoriented your hair gets. Once it leaves your head, it seems to get lost.

  1. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest! (But it has also been scientifically proven that too many will kill you.)
  2. Don’t let ageing get you down… it’s too hard to get back up again!
  3. Middle age… when “happy hour” is a nap!
  4. If gray hair is a sign of wisdom, then you’re a genius!
  5. What goes up but never comes down? Your age.
  6. The tragedy of getting old: So many candles… so little cake.

  7. Technically you’re not 50. You’re only $49.95, plus tax!
  8. They say you lose your mind as you grow older… what they don’t tell you is that you won’t miss it much!
  9. Age doesn’t make you forgetful: having too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful!
  10. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
    Chili Davis

  1. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
    Jack Benny
  2. Youth is a gift of nature but age is a work of art.
    Stanislaw Lec
  3. Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.
    Helen Hayes
  4. I’ve reached an age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.



Happy Birthday Funny Wishes

  1. Some funny happy birthday wishes and messages you can use in a funny birthday card message to friends or family on their birthday.
  2. I believe you forgot my birthday present last year, so now I’m returning the favor. Happy Birthday!
  3. A wise man once said, “Forget about your past, you cannot change it”. I’d like to add: “Forget about your present, I didn’t get you one”.
  4. Happy Birthday to a [Mom/Dad] who’s smart and funny and good looking, from a [daughter/son] who inherited all your best qualities.
  5. It’s your birthday? Let’s get up to some mischief!

  6. Funny birthday wishes about getting older:
  7. It’s OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.
  8. You know, they say that age is really all in the mind. The key is to prevent it from trickling down into your body.
  9. Congratulations on being born a really long time ago.
  10. You’re how old?! Better take that cake outdoors to light the candles! Have a very happy birthday.
  11. Congratulations, you’ve finally reached the wonder years… wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?
  12. When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
    ~ Unknown.
  13. You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct!
  14. Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
  15. You’re not old! …oh, no wait, actually you are, sorry about that…
  16. Don’t stress about your eyesight failing as you get older. It’s nature’s way of protecting you from shock as you walk past the mirror.
  17. Happy birthday!! You only look as old as the last selfie you took.
  18. I wouldn’t say you’re old… you’ve just been young for longer than most of us.
  19. Don’t grow up… It’s a trap!
  20. Great news! …you’re still alive!
  21. You’ve got more than half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesome… if you could remember any of it.
  22. You know, I would be a whole lot more excited about you turning one year older if I was in your will. Happy Birthday!
  23. Happy birthday to someone who has attended more birthday parties for kids than adults this year.
  24. I thought you might need some help with the candles. Happy Birthday!

  25. Personalize these happy birthday funny wishes with the age of the person.
  26. Don’t think of it as turning [insert age]. We’re here to celebrate the 10th anniversary of your [insert age -10]th birthday.
  27. Looking [insert age] is great – if you’re sixty.
  28. [For under 40s:] You may not be over the hill yet, but you have a great view!
  29. [insert age]?! I demand a recount!
  30. Congratulations on the 10th anniversary of your [XX]th birthday! Here’s to many more.
  31. Happy birthday! And remember you’re not [insert age] …you’re 18 with [XX] years’ experience.
  32. [Insert age] and still too young to plan your own surprise party!
  33. You’re 60? That’s only 16 in Celsius. Happy birthday!
  34. Deepest sympathies on your [insert age] birthday.

Happy Birthday Funny Wishes for Her

  1. A collection of funny happy birthday wishes for your mom, sister, aunt, or female friends.
  2. The secret to staying young is make up… make up an age, then stick with it!
  3. Happy birthday. It took you [insert age] years to look this good!
  4. We’ll be friends ’til we’re old and senile… and then we’ll be new friends!
  5.  Please don’t retouch my wrinkles. It took me so many birthdays to earn them.
    Anna Magnani
  6. You’re the youngest [insert age] year old I know.
  7. Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
  8. You suck at ageing! Can you at least try to look older?
  9. Those aren’t gray hairs you see. They’re strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head.

Happy Birthday Funny Wishes for Him

  1. Happy birthday funny wishes for him, including great messages to wish your dad, brother, uncle, or best buddy a very happy birthday!
  2. If anyone calls you old this birthday, just hit him with your walking stick and throw your teeth at him.
  3. Happy birthday! Don’t forget to iron that birthday suit.
  4. A little gray hair is a small price to pay for so much wisdom.
  5. I don’t have birthdays anymore, I level up!

  6. Fill in the gaps: H___Y B__T____ … nice try- HAIRY BUTTOCKS.
  7. Happy Birthday Dad! When I grow up I want to be just like you… but hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.
  8. Middle age is when your age begins to show around your middle.
    Bob Hope
  9. You know you’re 40 when your back is hairier than your head.
  10. What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I’ll never part with it!
  11. A man has reached middle age when he’s warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police.
    Henry Youngman

Happy Birthday Funny Belated Wishes

  1. Oh no! Did you forget their birthday? Apologize with one of these funny belated happy birthday messages. I’m sure it will get you back in their good books…
  2. I’m so sorry I forgot your birthday. The good news is that I also forgot your age. Happy Belated Birthday!
  3. I’m so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn’t think you would live this long. Happy Birthday!
  4. I promise this card isn’t late. It is intentionally arriving after your birth-day, because I think you deserve a whole birth-month. Happy Birth-month!
  5. I know you think this card is a few days late. It’s actually worse than that. This is your card from 2010 that I only just got around to sending. Happy Belated Birthday!
  6. Happy Birthday! Don’t think of this as a late birthday card. Consider it a very early one for next year. Here’s wishing you a wonderful year ahead!

Happy Birthday Funny Wishes for Best Friend

Funny birthday wishes to wish your best friend a very happy birthday.


  1. On your special day, I wish you peace, love, insight, relaxation, fun, knowledge, romance, friendship… and all that stuff that doesn’t cost anything.
  2. Just imagine all the things you’d want to hear on your birthday …and assume I wrote them here!
  3. For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was both funny and charming, but then I remembered you already have me in your life.
  4. At your age, people expect you to be calm, dignified and sober…. Disappoint them.
  5. You’re older; you’re wiser; you’re sophisticated. Far too sophisticated to be concerned with material things like presents.
  6. At least you’re not as old as you’ll be this time next year.
  7. If you feel a bit lonely, forgotten, or just need someone to cheer you up remember…You can always change your birthday on Facebook!
  8. A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age.
  9. You’re turning the perfect age. You’re old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make some more. Happy birthday!
  10. The best part of being over forty is that you did most your stupid stuff before the internet.
  11. Don’t worry, they are not gray hairs, they are wisdom highlights. You just happen to be extremely wise.
  12. [For over 40s:] Happy birthday! I’m so pleased to hear you’re over the hill instead of under it.

  13. By the time you’re your age, you’ve learned everything – you only have to remember it! Many happy returns on your birthday.
  14. I spent 3 hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you and then I gave up. Happy Birthday.
  15. When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.
    Mark Twain
  16. You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
    John Grier
  17. Happy 21st again!
  18. If things get better with age, then you’re approaching magnificent!

Happy Birthday Funny Jokes

  1. A collection of happy birthday funny jokes you can send to your friends and family on their birthdays.
  2. How does NASA organise a birthday party? They planet.
  3. What kind of music is scary for birthday balloons? …pop music!

  4. I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until the doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
  5. I always get this warm feeling on my birthday – people won’t stop toasting me.
  6. Why did the teddy bear refuse a slice of birthday cake? He was already stuffed.

  7. You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well pee while I’m here.”
  8. The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.
  9. The good thing about having a bad memory is that jokes can be funny more than once.
  10. Did you hear about the [insert age] year old who was still cool? Yeah, me neither.
  11. Do you know why candles are always put on top of birthday cakes?
    Because it’s far too difficult to put them on the bottom.
  12. You know you’re old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.
  13. You know you’re old when getting lucky means a short wait in the doctor’s office.
  14. You know you’re old when you have a party and the neighbours don’t even realize.
  15. Did you know that [insert date] is a date when no famous men or women have ever been born? …..None, only babies!
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