The spark between you and your boyfriend, or even your husband, has started to cool.
You’ve been together for a long time now, and you’re starting to take each other for granted. Or you still appreciate him, but feel like he’s taking you for granted.
Maybe this is something you’ve been concerned about for a while now, or maybe you’re just starting to see the signs.
Either way, you want to do something about it. You want to rekindle things and remind him of why he fell in love with you in the first place.
You really love this guy, and you know that things between you could be amazing again. You want to put the work in to make that happen.
It’s normal for long-term couples to go through patches when they stop appreciating each other quite as much as they should.
Long-term relationships can be wonderful, but it’s no secret that they’re hard work and there are always bumps in the road.
The good news is that improving things between you can be as simple as making him miss you. And giving yourself a chance to miss him too.
If you think you’re starting to get bored of one another, the tips below could help you inject a little mystery back into your relationship and give it a whole new lease of life.
How To Make Him Miss You
There’s no fool proof way of making your husband or boyfriend miss you.
But there are a few tried and tested techniques that could make him sit up, take notice, and stop taking you for granted.
You want him to start feeling nostalgic for how your relationship used to be, and give him the motivation to start putting more effort in.
If these tips don’t work, then it might be that the problems between you run a little deeper than just taking each other for granted, and that you need to take some time to consider where the fault lines in your relationship are, and what you need to do to fix them.
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1. Reduce your contact with him.
It might be that, as a rule, the two of you don’t tend to have much contact during the day, as you both have busy lives.
But if you are in touch a lot during the day, updating each other on things, then you could try reducing that to the essentials.
Even just a few hours without hearing from you could mean he starts missing you.
That way, when you get home at the end of the day (or when you meet up with him if you don’t live together), you’ll actually have things to talk about.
You’ll be able to tell him all about your day and hear about his, and keep the conversation flowing.
2. Don’t respond to him immediately.
Do you tend to reply to his messages as soon as you get them? It’s okay to make him wait now and again.
Whilst playing games like this might seem a bit juvenile, if you want him to miss you, you need to at least slow down your rate of reply. Unless, of course, it’s urgent.
There’s no magic number – you don’t have to wait X number of minutes or hours before you can text him back. Putting rules like that in place isn’t healthy.
Reply when it’s genuinely convenient for you, as long as that’s not 20 seconds after you’ve received the message.
3. Leave him wanting more.
You love talking to him on the phone, or would happily let your dates go on for hours. But if you want him to miss you, you need to be the one to hang up or say goodbye.
Always make sure that there are some things left unsaid and more to catch up on, so that he doesn’t get a chance to get bored.
A slight air of mystery and unavailability always adds spice to a relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together.
4. Don’t drop other things for him.
If you’re in a serious relationship with this guy, then he is, naturally, going to be one of your priorities in life. But if you want him to miss you, then he can’t always take precedence.
Be respectful of him and make plans together, but don’t be afraid to make plans of your own. Don’t drop the things you have planned if they just don’t suit him.
Your family and friends, your career, and your well-being all need to be priorities too.
Sending him the message that whilst you love him, he isn’t the center of your universe, will create a healthier, more respectful balance between you.
5. Start living for you.
In order for a relationship to work, you have to make compromises. But it’s important not to take this too far.
If you lose yourself in a relationship, you’ll never truly be happy, and the cracks will start to show.
What are the things you love and make you happy that you’ve stopped doing since he’s been in your life?
What do you miss? What really makes you feel like your true self? Is there a hobby that you loved, or a cause that you were passionate about?
Re-embracing some of the things that made your heart sing will make you happier in yourself, but it will also remind him of what first attracted him to you.
6. Make the most of this time with your friends and family.
The fact is that, when we’re in relationships, we often neglect our friends and family, not spending enough time with them.
So, make it your mission to create some memories with them. Fill up your diary with fun activities with the people you love.
Seeing you getting out and about with the other important people in your life will mean your boyfriend or husband has a chance to miss having you around, and might want to start making more memories with you himself.
7. Surprise him.
Getting him to miss you isn’t all about spending time apart. Surprising him and mixing things up can help too.
Rather than just going on the same old dates to the same old places, try new things.
Keeping him on his toes will mean he’s always keen to see you, wanting to see what you’ll surprise him with next.
8. Leave him reminders of you.
If you don’t live together, leaving something small at his place means that he’ll think of you whenever he catches sight of it.
If you do live together, then you could slip a note or a small gift into his bag when he goes away, to put a smile on his face and keep him dreaming of you.
9. Be yourself.
If this is the right guy for you, then he’s going to love you at your wackiest and at your most eccentric. He won’t be able to resist you when you really let your personality shine.
Day-to-day life might be dulling some of that shine, but fighting against that and being authentically you will mean he’s reminded of exactly why he fell in love with you and starts missing spending time with you.
10. Indulge in some self-care.
The main motivation behind treating yourself should be just that, because you’re worth it.
But, getting that haircut, refreshing the contents of your make up bag, having a massage or treating yourself to a new outfit could give you a confidence boost that he’ll find irresistible.
It could make him take a second look and realize just how lucky he is, and start prioritizing spending time with you.
Eat well, drink lots of water, and make sure you’re glowing.
Whether or not it makes him wake up and start appreciating you more, it will make you feel fantastic, like you’re ready to take life by the horns.
11. Arrange separate weekend plans.
Sometimes, people in long-term relationships can feel like they have to be joined at the hip at all times.
And whilst it’s great and important to do things as a couple, doing things separately can be just as beneficial.
When the weekends come around, don’t assume you have to spend them together.
Suggesting that you do things separately could mean you both get the break you need to start missing each other.
That way, when you are together at weekends, you’ll be more present and appreciative of the time you’re sharing.
12. Spend some time away.
If you don’t live together, then just a weekend on which you both do your own thing could be enough to get him feeling excited about seeing you.
But if you do live together, then some real time apart is important now and again.
Sure, he might enjoy the space in the bed on the first night, but after a little while he’ll start missing sleeping next to you.
Left to his own devices, he’ll also start to appreciate exactly how much you do around the house, or for the children, if you have any.
It could be a night away, or it could even be a couple of weeks away on holiday. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder, in a lot of cases.
If you’ve been getting under each other’s feet for too long, a break from each other could work wonders for your relationship.
13. Organize romantic date nights.
Right after you’ve had some time away from each other is the perfect moment to dial up the levels of romance.
Once he’s had some time to miss you, why not suggest that you both get dressed up, and do something special and romantic?
If you’ve been missing each other, you’ll both be feeling all the feels, and it’s the perfect moment for the two of you to reconnect and relight the fire between you.